Grounded by an #ashcloud? How to keep yourself grounded while you wait to get home

After 8 wonderful nights relaxing in Bali, I too have joined the long list of travellers trying to make it home to Australia. It has been 7 days since flights have departed and arrived without disruption. I am witnessing and experiencing first hand how it is to deal with airlines, hotels, insurance companies and generally anybody you don’t wish to bother unless you are actually in need and trying to find a solution to a problem.

I am struggling with trying to be present in the moment and at the same time managing professional and personal issues at home, things I would be doing as part of my usual life if my plane departed on schedule on the weekend. Meanwhile, around me I notice people struggling with the same thing. We all meet again at breakfast, at the pool, share stories about what we have read or heard and try and connect to feel we aren’t alone in this. One common theme is evident,

Now, just like any other time, past or present, we can’t predict the future, and that really makes people very anxious.

In our day to days lives we are often reassured that we can control a great deal of what happens, and most of the time we do a pretty adequate job of it. That’s because humans are hard wired to work best with habit, routine, and structure. We learn how to function by recognising what has worked in the past. Such as booking a holiday, turning up at the airport, arriving at the destination, leaving the accommodation and heading home. We can often leave our comfort zones and relax on a holiday because we know what will happen when its over. When there is any disruption to this, feelings ranging from unease to panic begin to emerge. This is understandable, even in those not predisposed to anxiety. For those who are, this change in routine and dealing with uncertainty can trigger every vulnerability.

It is OK to feel uneasy. Comments like ‘just enjoy the extra few days break’ might be annoying and make you more anxious if you are experiencing financial or health concerns due to being away longer than you have budgeted for.

People with anxiety disorders often fear the worst. They fear things that will probably never happen. This distortion in thinking is purely a symptom of anxiety and not a character fault. If you are prone to anxiety, or even if you aren’t but feeling anxious right now, here are some practical strategies that can help;

  • Reassure yourself that you will get through this, and no matter how inconvenient or stressful this may be, making rash decisions that could put your health or life at risk are not sensible. Remember to remain somewhere where you feel safe. When people are prone to panic or are distracted they can be impaired in decision making, and may be more prone to accidents or adversity. Remember to be safe crossing roads, entering areas you don’t know and so on.
  • Connect with as much home or certainty as you can. If that means a phone call or Skype chat to someone at home then make that a priority at a frequency that reassures you. Choose a person who will listen and help, rather than friends who may be there for the gossip and drama. Set up a small list of close friends on Facebook that you can contact rather than filter through all the noise on your feeds. Chose who you want to support you right now. Nominate a spokesperson at home who can call airlines, your employer etc on your behalf.
  • Where are your FOMO levels? ‘FOMO’, or fear of missing out, is a real phenomenon and is pretty rife right now, as we learn that social media channels, including unsolicited ones are updated faster than traditional means of communication. This is good and not so good. Certainly, as a group we can force airlines and insurance companies to respond to concerns faster than as an individual trying to call through on a landline. And we can feel falsely reassured by refreshing our social media feeds or listening out for notifications on an almost habitual basis. It is a typical conditioned response. You feel anxious, you press ‘refresh’, anxiety levels drop, there is nothing there, so you search more frequently and on wider platforms. Before you know it, you have spent hours staring at mindless information, in the fear of missing a notification from your airline or travel agency, and feel worse than before. Be very strict about checking for updates and stick to it. Checking your phone constantly, driven by a need to know something, will keep you completely focused on the problem.
  • Be specific about where you will look for information.  As the days go by there are more groups and information making it to our Google searches.  However, what is happening is many of the unsolicited groups and even the official sites are being drowned out by hearsay and personal experiences that may do no more than increase panic. Remember, Facebook pages are often set up by people who are generous with their time as moderators but really don’t sign up or are remunerated to deal with an influx of posts, filtering through for what is genuine or not.
  • Remember you are in one of the most tranquil places in the world, rife with ways to relax. Take this test to see how much you need to use what is here right now with you. Turn on you timer on your phone and set it for 5 minutes. That’s 300 seconds. Press start and lie back and close your eyes. Check how many times you had to resist checking emails or Facebook for updates. Feel how difficult it is to resist the urge. If you have not made it to 300 seconds, or have felt very uncomfortable after that time, you need to embrace some practical ways to help. Focus on the horizon, or where the waves are breaking out in the ocean. Watch the leaves on the trees sway in the wind. Pick up a handful of sand and see how long you can hold onto it before the grains fall to the beach. Come back to the present.
  • If you are a parent and have children with you think about the language you are using to describe your situation. If you are irritable or anxious, or need to have a conversation about your predicament, do it away from the children who will pick up on your anxiety.

Finally, the type of customer service large international companies can offer right now is on display. But now might not be the time to vent anger as it is most likely to make you very anxious, and the call centre operators very defensive. Don’t worry, I have had my fair share of difficult phone calls, when I am able to get through. Just think about what you will achieve right now, and what can wait till a very comprehensive letter of complaint when you get home.

Some tips for major companies when handling calls;

  • Assume everybody you talk to on the phone is calling because something has happened to them and they will be anxious and irritable. The best way to diffuse that is to provide clear directions and allow them to express their concerns.
  • If you broadcast that you will post an update at a certain time then do so. Even if you think it might change, do it anyway. If passengers need certainty, and all they have is a time for the next update then adhere to that.
  • Instead of delivering bad news all the time, educate passengers about what you will do when the ash cloud dissipates. Details such as the number of planes that will be dispatched to fetch stranded passengers, how the priority situation works if you need to get home due to medical emergency and so on. Pretty much every passenger is with you that we don’t want to fly if it is dangerous. there is no argument there. If you truly don’t know the answer, there is a lot of comfort in saying ‘we don’t know’.
  • Employ professional social media strategists to run your Twitter, Facebook and Instagram accounts. Irritated passengers can see right through comments that come across as patronising. Last week I was told “enjoy the pool, it is raining in Melbourne anyway”, which is no comfort to me when I have obligations at home. Social media is a powerful way of delivering effective communication as it happens, use it as such and the amount of negative comments should dissipate, hopefully as quick as this ash cloud does.

Remember, the ash cloud will pass. Don’t buy into fear mongering or shared anxiety of others. Home will be waiting for us. What we can do when there is not much else to do, is let go of what we cannot control. Continue to remain as resilient as you can using the resources around you. Stick together as couples and families, or if alone, remain connected to loved ones at home. We are all in the same boat.

Dr Helen Schultz, when not stuck in Bali, is working as a psychiatrist in Melbourne, Australia. She is now actively putting into place what she advises patients to do – mindfulness, relaxation and reading books. Oh, and waiting for travel updates. 

8 Replies to “Grounded by an #ashcloud? How to keep yourself grounded while you wait to get home”

  1. Hi Helen, thanks for this superb article. I have pinned it to the top of my Bali Travel Group page and shared it with the social media and crisis team at Jetstar too.

    If you are still here, would love to drop you down a couple of my books to read, to help you stay grounded.

    Best regards, and thanks. This message is what I have been aiming to achieve in the group, but you have nailed it on the head.

    Clare

    1. Oh Clare that is so lovely thanks so much, I would love to get in touch yes we are stuck at least until Friday, will write something again tomorrow, many thanks, Helen

  2. Great article and tips, I too was in Bali as all the drama is happening and my scheduled flight out was at 1am Saturday morning, fortunately it was one of the flights that actually left otherwise I too would have been in the same situation, with small children at home staying with their grandfather who leaves for Thailand in a few days and one of the busiest work weeks of the year coming up. People say ” oh but it’s not a bad place to be stuck” but that all depends on your personal situation, not even counting the stress involved when you spend the last 2 days of your supposed holiday trying to get any information out of an airline that has checked out of the situation and is giving no form of communication with it’s passengers whatsoever.

    Hope you get back home and to your life soon.

    1. Thanks Michelle, I’m glad I wrote it as people have enjoyed reading it. My son is in Oz and I am missing him so much, and have had to cancel a week of private practice disrupting all my patients, new and regular. I didn’t budget for an extra week of holidays, time wise or financially. I am trying to stay calm, and appreciate your feedback, best wishes, Helen

  3. Lovely post, Helen!

    It makes me imagine what it must be like for sick people dealing with a different type of insurance company and service provider.

    I hope you get home soon and can enjoy your extra few days in Bali.

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